P212627 I'm So Embarrassed

Haven't watched a moment of the Demo Convention (Hell, if the Demos nominated something as lowly and loathesome - and unlikely - as a coherent Republican they'd still have my vote. You have to go lower in the mammal chain than humans to find something as worthless as George Bush, the Inferior). And I'm at home watching Stargate: Atlantis (I Gotta Get My Application for Poster Credit in now!

My POSSLQ occasionally takes me to movies (By "takes me" I mean forces me to pay for dinner and a movie). The last one I was forced to see was "I. Robot." I enjoyed it and I have read the complete Asimov collection of Robot stories. All fanboys upset that it isn't "true to Asimov" should remember that Asimov, like most humans was untrue to himself.

True dat.

Then you should go to the other end of your basement hideaway and move mom's laundry to the drier.

After watching the movie.. the clever city and robot cgi and the always lovely Will Smith.. so buffed and smooth he too looks like a cgi... I turned to POSSLQ and predicted that there will be an inevitable backlash to this style of movie-making and we will start to see movies featuring old-style (sort of) fights that don't involve semi-mystical "slowing of time" kung-fu moves that defy physics, floods of slow-motion bullets, and spiderlike crawling of walls.. Fights that don't involve computer generated cars, computer generated opponents, or computer generated falls through space. Oh yeah, without leather dusters also. Goddamn those Wachowski(sp?) Brothers anyhow!!

One week later this prediction may have started to come true, if I can believe this review of the Bourne Identity in Slate. And before this becomes some kind of overwhelming reality in the marketplace I just want to point out that I predicted it would happen.

Because I'm a very small, petty person who looks for validation anywhere I can find it.

That's why.

Just call me Mr. Zeitgeist.

Really. I insist.

1920 Gotta Love the Flea Market

As a callow youth (some decade ago) my parents would take me to the flea market in San Jose. There are actually many flea markets in San Jose, but when you say "the flea market" anyone with a positive Hip Quotient knows you're talking about the one in Berryessa.

I got to work there this week. It has changed. For the worse of course (since I am now a grumpy senior citizen). When I was kid there was a sugar-cane booth right at the entrance and my folks knew that the best way to shut us kids up was to give us natures original ever-lasting-gob-stopper (I'll probably get sued for copyright infringement by Willie Wonka). And back then a large portion of the booths were weekenders - folks who essentially brought their garage sales to the flea-market for exposure. Now it's largely vendors and an alarming percentage of what is being sold is made in one of the two Chinas. Personally? I prefer the stuff that I think was made in the prison-camp China, but to each their own.

But it is still the coolest thing ever and after I did my time working for the man I did get a few hours to suck down a couple of adult beverages and wander around. The people watching is extraordinary and some of the stuff they are trying to sell is side-splitting (you can click on these photos for bigger less compressed versions). And the produce row is still a place to get some remarkably fresh produce and also see some produce that you (and by "you" I mean us white folks) couldn't possibly identify, wouldn't know how to cook, and would spit up if you tried to swallow. Still, it's interesting to look at. ;-)

Even the noise around you is reassuring. A spiky white noise with clearly identifiable bits and a blended sursurrus behind that. "You get a body into that apartment...." floats up and dissapears before I can tell if the speaker is talking about hiding a corpse, sending their kid back home, or how to sell door-to-door.

When I'm at the flea market?

I even like pigeons!

111213141516 1718 Wha? A ticket?

This is a beautiful thing and no doubt makes the world safer for all of us. One of those speed zone/speed-trap things.

Here is the sign that warns me that I should be very very careful (What I call the "Porky Pig" advice, and not just cause it's cops that enforce these signs you silly wabbit):

And here is the sign that is turned on to warn you that it is one of those 25 mph times:

The clever eye amongst you will notice that it says some evil-doer is shredding by at 38 mph in that 25 mph zone packed thick with children. And who would this johhny scofflaw be?

Good god, no way! It's the VTA.
This is just a symptom of what's wrong with Amerca!
A bus full of people too poor or worthless to own cars (probably all on welfare) about to run down the downy-cheeked future of our fine country. Communists or worse!

Of course, this is what the road looks like. Notice the complete lack of people on the street/sidewalk/crosswalk/parking lot, let alone actual children.

but I bet I'd get a ticket if a cop were around.

8910 Why Modern "Art" Sucks: Putting the "Alice (in wonderland)" into Chalice

This here is a "sculpture" (That big metal thing, not the "Fish and Chips" thing - that's performance art, silly!). It was created by an "artist" named Neil Dawson who, if nothing else, is an artist of the 'con' variety. An artist who received a budget of $343,000.00 dollars to create it. It stands 18 metres high and is 12 metres in diameter. And that's about all I can say about it without spitting up blood. It represents everything in the world that is wrong with modern art. It looks like a lost shuttlecock from some gigantic alien outer-space game of badminton gone out of control. It looks like a lot worse as well. It's apparently called "Chalice" because "Gawdawful Monstrosity" was taken

In a gush of critical palaver that will stand any test of stupidity, the monstrosity is described thus:

Dawson's design incorporates the historic eco-system of the Square by depicting the leaves of native trees, which previously grew in this now metropolitan space. It works in harmony with the Cathedral reflecting the geometric patterns evident in the architecture, windows and tiles. The conical structure emulates expansion and growth and makes reference to the aquifer underlying the Canterbury Plains - 'gush of water' - 'beam of light'. The sculpture is a convergence of time, place and artistic endeavour.

Which, as a wag at clevernothing notes is "an artsy-fartsy explanation of "big fucking eyesore.""

I have no idea how it even got past that design stage and my confusion is made even greater when I look at the following pictures of the square "before" and "after"

How anyone can claim that this aluminum sugar cone reflects, emulates, or refers to anything else within 3 miles is a complete mystery. Such claims are an act of fraud. More than anything else, this "sculpture" looks like a bad photoshop. In fact, when I first saw it I immediately googled it to make sure that it wasn't someone's idea of a joke.

Well, it isn't a photoshop joke, anyway.

Oh well, while searching through the intarweb in an attempt to understand this thing I was amused to find that the New Zealand Arts Foundation did offer up this clever backhanded-compliment/slap at Neil when assessing his body of work:

"Dawson has used the interplay of the constant and the serendipitous in many of his works, in the spheres the combination has proved inspiring."

Maybe Neil should have tried a sphere in NewChurch. Because the Chalice, to use a phrase from the lexicon of art criticism, blows chunks.

234567 Repugnican Junk Mail: My 2 cents -- no, really, my 2 cents.

I must live in some creepy demographic, cause I got junk mail from a nationally know group of fascists and they wanted me to join their little organization. They sent me a membership card:

The "they" is the Republican National Committee and they want me to help "spread (their) compassionate conservative message." Must have been some hearty laughter, spiced with a slight smell of brimstone, when the party of unemployment, needless war, and despoilation came up with that sentence! The fun those kids must have whilst concocting their little lies (Or "sliding in the Old Dick Cheney" as I hear they call it.)

Anyway.. the envelope included this...

Use my own stamp!?!? These guys are funny!

Instead I put two pennies in the thing and sent it back with the message that "President Bush is worth every cent." (OK, I lied ;-)) If the least I can do is cost the swine the price of postage and handling I feel I've done what I can here. I certainly hope the poor (probably minimum-wage) fool who opens this thing pockets the 2 cents. If not, I'm going to assume the amount of time it takes them to decide what to do with it is costs 2 cents of their time.

Now off to The Poor Man to continue following his list of Bush related lies..

1 Home-Truths from grouphug

Who wouldn't?

The straight are rarely narrow

And the narrow rarely straight

Drunk driving is fun!

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