OPOSSUM PROJECT: BACKGROUND/FIRST DAY (email the scientist)

Until I met a Korean dog I thought all the North Korean talk about mad-dogs and killers was something in the line of metaphor or exaggeration. Then I met a Jindo, a medium-sized Korean dog (You can find more information about the Jindo here). And it killed every small, warm-blooded thing it could get its teeth on. Once it killed a kitty in the back yard of my previous house. This horror led to a song that you can take a look at /hear here. But I moved to a new house. As part of the moving the Jindo (who shall remain nameless as you might meet her someday and I wouldn't want you to be scared. They can tell if you are scared, you know) ended up staying at my house. And killing again (I guess it's true what the Republicans say about recidivism) And thus was born the opossum project. Which I document here.

Here is the innocent doggie (all pics here will be clickable to larger, more horrible versions)....

doing that innocent thing it does around mammals that are large enough to threaten it, or wise enough to feed it. But all that is a charade, as was revealed the fourth morning (mourning?) of its stay when I awoke to find, laid out on my lawn, this...

A newly-created member of the opossum choir-invisible.

I was so startled to see this that I had to take a picture, have breakfast, and go to work to check my email.

Actually, I was quite startled and didn't even notice that there was a leg missing until I looked at the photos. Which is odd since everything else I did was CSI Miami quality. I found the apricot that the opossum had been taking as loot (sorry, no pictures as I imagine even the most arguing internet loser of us all can imagine what an apricot looks like). I also found the last evidence of the opossum's attempt to escape:

Yes, a sole clawmark (hey, "sole clawmark" that's almost some kind of a pun!) in a window screen undoubtedly placed there as the doomed rodent unsuccessfully attempted to climb to freedom.

This was Friday the fourth of July and my Independence Day was off to a splendid start. However, I did have guests including the dog's owner coming over so I had to do something with the corpse...

Luckily, I have long been a marginal collector of bones and skulls. In fact I had buried the Jindo's previous victim in some screen and eventually dug up the skull and presented it to the owner of the Jindo. Alarmingly, he seemed as proud as a father that he had tangible evidence of his dog's mammacidal streak.

He's Korean.

That might explain it.

I quickly identified the opossum as a gift from providence with which I could continue my experiments in stripping the flesh from dead animals. It is the first step of my plan. Step three is to get rich. I am unclear on step two, though I am leaning towards creating a vast army of skeletal zombies (loyal to me alone) with which I will rule the world.

Anyway, some quick internet research indicated that the preferred method of "cleaning" a "subject" such as I had was still to either:

A) Identify yourself to all and sundry as hopelessly insane by maintaining a terrarium full of flesh-stripping beetles, or

B) Maceration by immersion in water.

My significant other would not allow me to get the beetles. Selfish little........

Well, that's another thing entirely. Anyway, I decided to grab a bucket and immerse my little buddy. Which I did...

Then I took a day off to recover from the flash-burns and concussed eardrums I had received from a poorly conceived "I think I can light all these fireworks at once" moment.

but the story has not ended... oh no...