Proof my GF has OCD

So the BAG is over last night as we have to head back to the old homestead and clean it up. The BAG doesn't yet have internet access at her new place - it's one of those houses with 5 jacks and 4 different phone numbers so evil AT&T just randomly opens one of the phone numbers when you call for a line. Then it is up to you to go to the box and shift things, or pay $125 for an AT&T monkey to come out and do it for you.

Which means nothing... my point is she had to check email from my place and looking over her shoulder I saw that image to the left. I quickly reached over and took a screen shot. 26492 unread messages! This is a woman who has never known the meaning of delete.

I'm scared to ask when she started this account. Why would anyone keep all that crud?

Probably related to why she still goes out with me, so I shouldn't poke around to sharply. ;-)

Holy Cow.. it's like they know me!

You Are Bud Light

You're not fussy when it comes to beer. If someone hands it to you, you'll drink it. In fact, you don't understand beer snobbery at all. It all tastes the same once you're drunk! You're an enthusiastic drinker, and you can often be found at your neighborhood bar. You're pretty good at holding your liquor too - you've had lots of experience.

What's Your Beer Personality?

The Worst Photoshop Evar?

Or it's the most inspirational story ever, cause that poor Spiderman-looking Black dude has overcome the tragic lack of an elbow to play for the Fighting Irish. And Tom Zbikowski has a sort of glow about him.

Perhaps this is a team of destiny?

or ESPN is full of shit?

The original pic and article is here.

And below you will see what it looked like, cropped, on the front page and even more tragically obvious. I mean, this is Notre Dame, don't they have stock photos of the defense or something. It's not like it's Stanford, Duke, Penn State, or some other traditional doormat.

Someone should be getting a memo from Bristol about this one. ;-)

YMCA

The Crazy BAG insists that I link this lovely combination of everything good and noble in life...

Yep, disco and Nazis!

A Note for My Girlfriend

'When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticising her own oppression'
Sheila Jeffreys

More of her brilliant thoughts here...

The Liberal Agenda

Still a classic (from way back, hence, "classic")

8:00 – Wake up. Hug tree.

8:10 – Quick breakfast of granola w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells on toast.

8:20 – Get dressed in hemp suit.

8:30 – Worship false idols.

8:45 - Drive to methadone clicnic in hybrid (30% electric, 70% Bible furnace) car .

8:50 – Receive methadone. Sell for pot.

9:00 - Trade half of the pot for unprotected sex with Catholic High School Girl.

10:00 – Light reading: Anarchist's Cookbook, Koran, other books not The Bible.

10:10 – Drown puppies on way to welfare office.

10:20 – Pickup welfare check.

10:30 – Cash check.

10:35 – Buy more pot.

10:50 - Burn flag.

11:30 – Miscellaneous Sodomy.

12:00 – Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at upscale coffee shop.

12:30 – Stop at nearest cemetery to urinate on veterans' graves.

1:30 – Miscellaneous coveting.

3:00 – Steal babies, throw them from bridge.

3:30 – Bomb a church.

4:00 – Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run today.

5:00 – Formal dinner/fundraiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.

6:30 – Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus

6:45 – Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young student to the homosexual lifestyle.

7:00 – Take the Lord's name in vain.

7:10 – Smoke pot.

7:15 – Giggle for about twenty minutes.

7:35 – Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.

8:00 – Pay pizza man in food stamps.

8:30 – Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.

9:30 – Bedtime snack of nachos with goat-cheese and habanero peppers. No stem cells, watching weight.

10:00 – Dishonor mother and father.

10:30 – Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.

Isolation?

Over at Reassigned Time the hostess is talking about how insidious isolation is and how endemic it is to academia.

See, this is the thing: this profession is pretty universally isolating. In part, we have to isolate ourselves in order to do our jobs. Grading is not social. Research is not social. Service commitments infringe on our weekends and evenings.

First off, that's a pity party. Get out more.

Second, academia allows more contact with people than most jobs do (work in an office? Same people every day till you die). You have a steady stream of students and adjuncts passing through, you have summers off if you want them, you have free access to the lovely intarwebs. Get a grip.

Third, isn't that what the liquor is for? To make the isolation endurable, even lovely? And to ensure that it will continue? ;-)

Off to the bar!