DID MICHELLE MALKIN HAVE A STROKE?

I'm led to Michelle's homepage by some commie link claiming she said something stupid about something political. Nothing new there - the traitors will stop at nothing to smear the true patriot. Then I look at the picture that she and her techie defenders-against-the-French have placed on her website and it looks like this. Which just about stops me flat. Because on previous visits to her site she had always seemed far too attractive to have a job. A right thinking woman with looks of her nature should have ther third child on the hipbone, and another on the way when her husband returns from the Church, or bar. But a quick look at her picture suggests that something alarming has happened. Her left eye (aha! The rebellious and evil one) is twice the size of her right one and the left side of her mouth slumps down and out in a way that suggests pictures of Vladimir Lenin just before the end. To check this theory out I did a quick GIS and discovered this picture of St. Michelle that is less than four months old. While her mouth is still a bit crooked (in an appropriate way for a breeding machine for the next generation) it is also relatively bilaterally symetrical and her eyes are the same size.

I'm not suggesting (yet) that croissaint eating collaboration-monkeys have poisoned her, but a quick photoshop flip-flop (Need I mention that Kerry was a flip-flopper, or that his boss, Clinton, got a blowjob?) proves that the alarming monster she has become, could be cured by some sort of process that split her and reconstituted two versions of her based on her assymetrical halves. We could probably take some cells and reproduce.. oh.. vetoed. You can't have a culture of life that researches how to create life. We aren't God, after all.

I think I would sleep with (in a manner only intended for procreation) with either of these versions of Michelle. But that, and rightly so, is a medical impossibility.

So, for the moment, I'm just suggesting someone calls a doctor for the poor, suffering woman. Stat.